The Id, The Ego and The Super-ego
by beatrix-franklin
Summary: The conflict between Shelagh's desires and Shelagh's morals. [Let's be honest, I was just putting off my psychology essay and this ridiculousness ensued]


For clarification:

 **The ID:** The id is the impulsive (and unconscious) part of our psyche which responds directly and immediately to the instincts.

 **The Ego:** The ego operates according to the reality principle, working out realistic ways of satisfying the id's demands.

 **The Superego:** The superego's function is to control the id's impulses, especially those which society forbids, such as sex and aggression **.** [The story doesn't completely represent this but let's pretend it does]

* * *

 **THE ID.**

It had been two days since the wedding. Two glorious days of marital bliss, basking in one another's company and only moving out of bed when it was absolutely necessary.

Shelagh couldn't quite explain what had gotten in to her. Before the wedding chaste kisses were enough to see her through the day, a gentle hand on the small of her back or her hand in her fiancé's. That was enough to show her she was loved. But marriage had opened a whole new avenue within her. Brief kisses no longer satisfied her and she found herself wanting more every time. Each gentle kiss turned into a battle of dominance, passion taking over every sense. Patrick was initially surprised, expecting his new bride to take a few days to completely open to him. He couldn't have been more wrong. Within merely a day she was almost always the one initiating the intimacy, deepening every kiss and letting Patrick know exactly what she wanted. It took Shelagh a few days to realise what had stirred and awakened within her, why she allowed her senses to take over every logical thought within her head, why she quite frankly couldn't keep her hands off her husband. Then she realised…

Desire.

 **The Ego:**

Clinic days were the hardest for Patrick and Shelagh. They had long settled in to marriage and were completely content and comfortable with one another and simply relished in one another's company, however spent. Yet the desire they had for one another had not dispelled. Being in the same room for hours on end was sometimes almost torturous, both wanted and needed one another, yet the clinic walls, expectant mothers and watchful eyes of the sisters meant that the fire burning within them both needed to be contained to a measly flicker. But this wasn't always possible. Sometimes the flames lit and couldn't be controlled. On this particularly long and gruelling day Shelagh could wait no longer, she needed her husband. With only 10 minutes of clinic left Shelagh kept a watchful eye on Patrick's cubicle, eagerly awaiting the moment his last patient left. The second she heard the echoes of "Thank you Dr Turner…" she was on her feet, not wanting to spend a moment longer away from her husband. She barley gave the patient a second to leave the cubicle before she had stepped in, swiftly closing the curtain behind her, shielding them from the watchful eyes of the others. Patrick saw the look in her eyes and knew exactly why she had come to him, she was definitely not here to discuss patient matters. Within seconds they had gravitated towards one another, their lips locking and Shelagh's hands found their way to their favourite spot, tangled within Patrick's hair. Almost instinctively he'd pushed her towards the bed, perching her on the edge and allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist. She was just about to start work on his shirt buttons, the tie already gone, when they heard the unmistakable sound of Trixie's heals nearing them. "Dr Turner, can I have a quick word?" The words hung in the air for a second, Patrick and Shelagh almost too caught up in one another. Patrick was the first to shift away, leaving Shelagh rather breathless, still perched on the edge of the bed. Before Shelagh had a chance to compose herself Trixie had opened the curtains, assuming from the silence that Patrick wasn't in there, but checking anyway. She eyed the pair suspiciously, noticing how Shelagh's usually perfect hair was beginning to loosen from its chignon and raising an eyebrow when she noticed Patrick's discarded tie, now lying on the floor.

"I'll give you pair a moment," she tried to supress a giggle, "During clinic as well, Shelagh Turner I didn't think you had it in you." Trixie disappeared as quickly as she had arrived. Patrick merely shrugged his shoulders.

"At least it wasn't Sister Evangelina who caught us."

 **The Superego:**

It had been two weeks since Sister Julienne had made her thoughts about the Pill clear to Shelagh and consequently two weeks since Shelagh had shared any intimacy with Patrick. She'd been fighting a losing battle with her mind ever since. The desire for her husband was still there but her talk with Sister Julienne had made her question herself. Was it morally correct to keep being intimate with her husband knowing that a child was a near impossibility. Sister Bernadette would have certainly seen her actions as immoral. The vow of Chasity was of upmost importance to her when she was Sister Bernadette and Shelagh couldn't help but question why it was so easy for her to forget that whenever she was with Patrick. Though Sister Bernadette was now long gone, she had still shaped the person Shelagh had become and shaped her morals, something she still hung on to very dearly. She was aware the desire that flamed within her whenever Patrick touched her was a subconscious entity that she couldn't control. But her mind was something she could control and with that came her morals, preventing her from accepting anything more than a kiss on the cheek from her husband. The conflict battled within her for weeks. That was until Patrick came home late one evening. Shelagh noticed how he looked more tired than usual, he was dishevelled in his appearance and his eyes were those of a lost man. She knew he didn't blame her for the way she felt, nor was he angry but something within him had changed in the last couple of weeks. Without thinking she walked towards him, snaking her arms around his neck and nuzzling into his shoulder. It was the most contact they'd had in weeks. She felt him relax almost instantly. Lifting her had to look at him she noticed the vacant eyes she seen a mere moment ago, were now full of hope yet questioning if this is what she really wanted. She answered his unasked question with a kiss. A kiss that was gentle at first yet soon changed to one of passion, all the suppressed feelings now rising within her. Without a word, they went to the bedroom. Her id had won this battle.

The next morning Patrick awoke with a new-found spring in his step. Was it Shelagh or did he look younger than he did yesterday? She suppressed a laugh at the thought. No, she realised. He was simply happy. How could their intimacy be so wrong when it simply brought them closer, it made them appreciate one another more and made them happier. Yes, Sister Bernadette may have objected. But she wasn't Sister Bernadette anymore, she was Shelagh.


End file.
